


deadwater

by liamneeson



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Breakup AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 04:24:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8563972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liamneeson/pseuds/liamneeson
Summary: There was no space in her heart to grieve what she lost with Erza, no strength in her mind to check off every regret that's crossed her mind since then. They'd wanted lives that didn't include each other and there was no point in ruining the ambition she chose over love.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thir13enth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thir13enth/gifts).



> i heard there was an ft lgbtq+ week and i mcfreaking missed it???? 
> 
> for [thir13enth](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thir13enth/pseuds/thir13enth) who killed me yesterday with that [erlu breakup au](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8550667).

 

Breath clogged in Lucy's throat. The sight of Erza always stunned her and after all that had happened, after everything they've said to each other, after everything they wanted for and couldn't give the other, the brilliance of her didn't leave Lucy unaffected. It had been months. Probably over a year already, but Lucy didn't count the days that they'd parted and left each other miserable. There was no space in her heart to grieve what she lost with Erza, no strength in her mind to check off every regret that's crossed her mind since then. They'd wanted lives that didn't include each other and there was no point in ruining the ambition she chose over love.

Lucy's hands tightened around the straps of her purse as she worked up the courage to approach. Erza sat by Lucy's locked door, slumped back on the sturdy wood and deep in sleep. She used to have a spare key, Lucy remembered. Now it sat in the box of things Erza gave back, gifts and small pieces of Lucy's life she had left in Erza's house. Still unopened after all this time because she was still a coward.

"Erza," Lucy called the redhead's name softly as she touched a hand to shake Erza's shoulder.

From the stillness of sleep, Erza sprung up with sudden, jerky movements. "What?" She blinked big, brown eyes until Lucy came into focus. It wasn't so easy to differentiate what was real and dream version. "Lucy?"

"You fell asleep." Lucy said instead of anything else she wanted to say, and there was a lot. Not yet. "Come inside. It's starting to get cold."

Lucy unlocked the door and let Erza in. The automated thermostat was only starting to detect the dropping of temperature, greeting the two girls with a subtle warmth. Lucy shook her coat off and headed for the kitchen. "I'll put the kettle on. Go have a seat."

"Thank you," Erza called after her. She sat herself on the skinny wrought iron chairs around Lucy's breakfast bar. Nothing had changed since Erza last saw it. The potted herbs still flourished by the cheerful arched windows, the bright blue rug under the coffee table still had that stain from when Happy peed on it, the wall of books were still helplessly haphazard. She wondered if one of of the legs of Lucy's bed still had old textbooks under it or if she'd had them fixed already, or if Lucy's betta, Aquarius, still lived in that fishbowl by the window flanked by two pots of snake plant.

Before Erza could snap out of her train of thought, Lucy emerged from the kitchen bearing a plate of biscuits. "You don't look like you've eaten." But what she wanted to say was, _you look very tired, Erza, are you okay? Are you taking care of yourself? How are you? Do you know that I miss you and always waited for you to come back for me? Is that why you were sleeping at my door, because like me, you realized that what we did was stupid?_ Spetto said that a lady bit her tongue when she had nothing good to say so Lucy did just that, silently slipping on the high chair in front of Erza and setting the plate of sugar biscuits between them.

Erza reached for the food, never shy when it came to sweets. "Yeah." She didn't know how long she sat at Lucy's door, waiting for her to come home. "Sorry I fell asleep out there. I'm still not sure if you want to see me."

 _Of course I do. I want you back here_. "That's nonsense. You're always welcome here, Erza. I always made that clear to you."

Upon instinct, Erza stiffened. This had always been the most persistent of their arguments. Even now when Lucy offered welcome, all Erza could hear from it was accusation of how she never tried harder to make them work, how Lucy waited and waited and let so much opportunities pass just for a non-committal. "If this is about Crocus—"

"No, it isn't." It was, but Lucy didn't want to talk about that time she turned down job offers abroad to stay for a girl who had plans to leave anyway. Erza knew what she did and even now that Lucy would say no blame, it was still a bitter pill to swallow. "Erza, please. You get so cold when we need to talk about this."

Erza became further wound up. Lucy could see the old wall slowly climbing between them. "There's nothing to talk about. I came back, didn't I? And you didn't want me anymore."

"That's not my fault. You can't blame me for not waiting any more than I already did." She held up a silencing hand just when Erza was about to speak again. "I don't want to talk about this if you're looking to fight about it, Erza. I've made my peace with it all, so don't say anything else that will make me feel bad."

"Clearly you haven't made your peace since you're still mad." Erza returned, her tone just a little bit cold. There was a small frown set on the lines of her forehead and her posture was rigid.

"I'm not mad. Not anymore. I'm still sad about it, but that's allowed, right? It's not every day a ghost of your past comes knocking, or sleeping at your door." Lucy watched Erza blink at her statement, then laugh. Something relieved and thankful at the same time. Walls came down as easily as they appeared when they laughed together like the tension diffused, Lucy pressed on. "I'm really not mad, Erza. Sometimes it's just not the right time for people. Now that I've sat on the thought, I'm glad you didn't let a good opportunity pass you by. I don't want to stand in anyone's way."

"It's not like that, Lucy. I wanted to stay, but my mom—"

"You could have told me about your mom and helped me understand instead of shutting me out. But that's behind us, Erza. I don't want to fight about it."

Erza sucked in a breath until her lungs throbbed, then blew it out so her forehair flapped with it. "You haven't let me apologize for it."

"Do you think I want you to?" Lucy didn't have to try hard to be sincere. She reached around the cookies to hold Erza's hand. "Was that why you were here? To apologize?"

Erza turned pink. For a moment Lucy thought it was because of their hands touching but Erza did her the service of correction. "Actually, I was, uh, using your wifi. The signal's good in the corridor and you still have the same password."

Lucy looked offended, immediately snatching her hand back. "You motherf—"

"I swear I was going to see you tonight. I took a job around here, and moved into a place downtown. My wifi isn't set up over there and I had some emails to answer. But!" She could see that with every word, Lucy was getting more infuriated so Erza diverged from her story. "I was going to visit you, really. I was supposed to go home and change into something else but I fell asleep."

Lucy still frowned, but it looked more put on than anything. "I hope you planned on taking me to dinner because there's nothing substantial to eat here."

The constricting under Erza's ribs loosened. Lucy was so easy to be with, even when Erza deserved none of her kindness. "We can go wherever you like." We have time for that now.

**Author's Note:**

> this was a tumblr prompt from [nadiahilker](http://nadiahilker.tumblr.com/post/146473062490) "i've seen you hanging around my apartment and i thought it was because you missed me, turns out you've been using my wifi you asshole" changed to suit the situation. This was supposed to be a really funny piece and more light hearted i guess but (vague gesturing pose)


End file.
